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Here goes. The first post. I could pretend that this was the first post, but it’s really just the most recent first post. Can I stick with it this time? Do I have enough to say? Am I disciplined enough to see it through and stick with a blog for the long haul? Who knows. There’s only one way to find out.
I’m a mama, like you, maybe.
I’m just the other side of a big birthday.
I’m realising that my baby’s not a baby anymore, and wondering what happened to all my plans and dreams.
Now seems a good time to take stock, to figure out which dreams are important, and to make plans to see them through.
Who Am I?
I’m a 40-year-old mama, living with my husband, five children, and way too many animals. We live in the kind of house where putting up a picture hook might well necessitate replastering a whole room. Occasionally I’ll have a fit about the whole replastering thing, and decide that what we really need is a *new* house. Then we look at a few, and I remember why I don’t like new houses.
I used to be a teacher, but that feels like a very long time ago now. I can’t even remember whether that was a ‘dream’, or just something that seemed a sensible choice. Either way, my teacher self feels a million miles away from my current self, and the reality of teaching as a job feels a million miles away from what I thought I was signing up for.
I’ve got some children in school, and some are home educated. That’s kind of a long story, I’ll probably share it with you some time. The short version is that neither my secondary-teacher self, nor my primary-teacher husband have much belief in the primary education system in this country. After dipping in and out of school, we currently do primary at home, and secondary in mainstream.
What Happens Next?
I sometimes wonder what my ten-year-old self, would make of my life now, or my fifteen-year-old self. I can imagine myself back into those bodies easily, and it’s interesting to think about which parts of my current life would make them feel proud, and which would make them roll their eyes and disown me.
Of course, if we all took the dreams of our ten-year-old selves as the pattern for our whole lives, then maybe it wouldn’t work out all that well. Even so, I figure it’s not a bad idea to think about this stuff from time to time. Which dreams still resonate? What haven’t I yet achieved? Is that stuff still important to me?
So, that’s my journey. It’s time to examine my goals, set some new ones in place, and get myself back on track. I’ve got fifteen amazing years of mothering under my belt, and many, many more to come. I just want to shift the scales a little, bring some balance back, and focus on myself again.